Sleeping at Night

"And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For Everyone that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be manifest, that they are wrought in God." -JC (John 3:19-21)

As The Times crossword advances to a place out of my mental grasp, I am reminded that the week is almost over. Thank you, GOD, and you're welcome for the shout out! I've survived four day shifts in a row. The positive side is that I've had evenings off and enjoyed them (too much yesterday, actually, when I spent more than I made). The bad thing was the realization that men are perverts 24 hours a day with no shame. As if I didn't know this to some extent, but the reminder of how far some go was a bit painful.

Irish Santa, Obnoxious-Short-Patron-Shot-and-Goose-Back Man, and Paulie were there every day like clockwork, and they weren't the only outed addicts, just the exceptional ones. Paulie, the old guido who subjected me to the sight of a clitoris and outer labia last week, managed to make my stomach turn again when I served him and a couple girls a full on lobster feast. He reached across the table without pause ripping meat from the carcasses in front of each girl and handing out the family style vegetables with his fingers. I never got a chance to see if he had a greasy butter stain all over the front of his pants after he got up, but I pictured it (as much as he plays with his crotch). But the worst part was watching the chicks eat the food after his cooties were all over it! I had to wash up to my elbows in the bathroom after bussing dishes off the table! Where are your boundaries, ladies!

Which reminds me- another truth that's been solidified in my What I Already Know brain file is that I'm a much better bartender after a couple drinks... well duh. No seriously though, it's especially difficult not to drink at a strip club. During the day, though, I can't do it like that. I read! My laugh is painfully fake, and some people I decide to not even wait on occasionally forcing a dancer to track me down because she was counting on me to help her waste time. Then I go in a sober pushover. I do try to get into a friendly groove at the end of the day when I know I'm about to go home broke, but without any real sense of pride. Right after the corporate work day ends and right before we do the shift change it starts to pick up and I start to push back. Ask and you shall receive! It's the truth, but it's awkward to do (especially sober and as a well-trained people pleaser). Still, I do just enough to walk out happy about a work to pay ratio above average and the fact that I have the night off.

Of course the truth is, I suck. The dancers-turned-waitresses do the best all around and I do my personal best with the protection of the bar between me and my prey (or am I the prey), AND I'm even better with a few drinks in me... at night. It's the only time that place could ever be acceptable in any way: drunk and at night. Serving drinks to couples in dark rooms when I know it's a sunny day out and I'm missing it is very different. Perhaps I should guilt the guy into buying a bottle of something because I know his little secret, maybe I should sit on his lap and tell him what he wants to drink because he'll probably listen, but instead I'm the girl taking their order from as far away as possible and then walking away as they're answering. I don't care- the line only blurs at night, but during the day it's lit up and obvious. Ewwwww, you're a perv!

Luck for me I can stomach a lot of gross.

My rational? It's just financially worth dealing with when factoring in a return of way lucrative night shifts. I made a respectable amount of money this week working the day shifts. It's worth it. Really. The day shift's not bad. The night shift is almost fun sometimes. It's cool. Did I say that already? Oh God.